Monday, 26 October 2015

What do you really bring into a relationship?

"Some people want to put nothing and get everything from their relationships. That's the number one reason relationships fail even from the beginning"

People are selfish. Both men and women. And that's a fact. But the problem is that many people who want to fall in love do not realize that love is all about sharing.

In love, you take the focus out of yourself and put it on the other person, while the other person is expected to do the same. Winning relationships are built by partners who make reasonable sacrifices(You heard that? REASONABLE!) for the long-term success of their union. The problem we have nowardays is the new breed of people who waste their time and resources building parasitic love relationships that will never last.

That is why I'm asking this all important question : what do you bring to your relationship?

As a man or woman, If you do not bring anything into your relationship and expect to have a smooth ride, then you're probably joking. No one will serve you for the long-term without expecting anything in return, and I theresay, this is one of the underlying reasons why men indulge in rape. It's so sad, but it is the truth. You should have an open heart going into a relationship and make sure you have something significant to offer.

The question hers is can you help the next person become better?

Can you help them solve a problem?

Can you make them feel happier?

These are the questions you should ask yourself before deciding to fall in love. If you know deep inside of you, that you have nothing to offer in return, it's better you just keep off from going into that relationship. That will be better for the both parties involved.

Here's how to know you can't offer anything in a relationship. The answers are always clear to see. For me, a person who's falling in love in order to avoid something is likely not to have anything to offer.

Is she dating you because you can offer her a better life?

Is he dating you because he can show you off to his friends?

Are you dating him because he's super rich?

Are you dating her just for the s*x?

You have to think deeply and ask yourself what the importance of love is. Why do people fall in love and why do you want to fall in love. If you cannot find a unique answer that represents your values, then you cannot build a successful relationship. It's as simple as that.

I've seen many sweet relationships fail due to one of the partner feeling entitled to be taken care of and provided for all the time. I've also seen perfect couples breakup due to one partner wanting things to be done their own way. Sharing is not only about giving what you have. It also means being considerate emotionally, socially, spiritually and otherwise. That means you should always be there when your partner isn't doing something right. Complement them in all their shortcomings. Right their wrongs and make them complete.

It may take some time, but when you're done building a great partner that will adore you, you'll be very proud. If you think love isn't work, you better forget about it. Fact shows that it take more energies to love a person than to climb up the stairs of a 20-storey building. Think about that. Love is not freestyle and it isn't free either. Find something you can share before finding the person you can share with.

There are two types of people who do not bring anything into a relationship. They can be classed into Materialistic and vanity. Personally, I think the former is seen more among the ladies while the latter is prevalent among the men. Ladies see guys as money opportunity while the guys see ladies as a sexual opportunity. That is why men are scaled by the level of wealth they control and ladies scaled on the sizes of their 'particulars'.

You do not have to go with the crowd mentality to make your relationship successful. You should endeavor to make a difference and build the kind of love you dream about. Personally, my advice to you is to follow my plan. Study relationships of other people and check out what works and what doesn't.

My research shows that 80 percent of men who are classed in the 'vanity' category do not build long-lasting relationships as compared to 50 percent of the women folks. What this means is that women may choose to fall in love with a wealthy partner and still remain loyal while men will choose a very beautiful or sexy lady to fall in love with, and not still remain loyal. This is an eye-opener and should help you know the way relationships of nowardays go.

The most important thing here is to make sure you communicate. Ask yourself and your partner the BIG question : What do you bring into this relationship. If you can do just that, you'll be able to find out early if a relationship is worth pursuing or not.